first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
