oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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