Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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