Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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