Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
