How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
so much tequila, so little girl.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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