My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize