Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize