i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
