as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
