Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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