I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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