so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize