There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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