Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
