I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
