don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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