She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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