I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
