when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
