What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
