We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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