went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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