Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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