Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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