So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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