In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
