Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
