Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Randomize
