She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
