and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize