i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
