these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
