so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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