woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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