Duck Duck Cougar?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
