Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
