I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
