Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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