What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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