We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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