The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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