I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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