ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
