Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
