She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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