why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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