do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
