i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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