She's JV to your varsity
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
