A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
