The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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