Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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