If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
