Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize