I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
